How do you feel when someone close to you is no more? And who
is more closer than mother? How to respond and go through such grief?
I am going through it myself, as I write this letter to you!
| My aged and ailing mother has just passed
away on last Thursday at 4pm at my hometown in South India. In fact,
she was almost at the brink of death so many times. I rushed several
times to her bed side in the hosptial only to find her get up and
talk! Recently, her condition was so bad that the doctors expected
her to die anytime! But she was still active, visting her daughters,
etc. And for them, her daughters, it is more painful than to me.
Because she was with them all the time and they miss her so sorrowfully. |
 |
Since I had released her to the Lord, and from my mind, several years
ago, I have taken the news of her death not so shockingly. No doubt,
I wept bitterly that day and am weeping inside everytime I remember
her sayings and movements, when she was with me here. I felt the comfort
after I wept so much and relieved all my sorrow. I read the Bible and
prayed. In fact, I thanked God for sparing her of the sufferings in
the body. What is better- to suffer and make others to suffer with you
or just go in peace? Of course, we needed her just to look at her and
to be with us. When she was staying with me here, after coming from
outside I always look for her and see her face even before untying my
shoes! Now it's all over. I feel so empty and lonely. But...
I had the privilege of the sisters from our Church coming and sharing
in my sorrow, since they also know her and loved her. I'd also shared
with some of my online friends who also encouraged and promised prayers.
I know, I will not be seeing my mother again here, but I have the assurance
and hope that we will meet with Christ in heaven face to face and will
have the joy of talking and being together forever. Till then, I have
the comfort and encouragement of His Word, occupation with His work,
and company of His people and His loving presence.
How to Respond?
Sooner or later almost every one of us has to face the death of a person
we love. However, the comfort of Christ in bereavement is sure. When
death takes from our side someone we love the pain we experience can
at times be almost intolerable. We must not be afraid to express our
feelings to God (or about Him) whatever they may be-anger, frustration,
fear, hurt, a sense of abandonment, and so on. These feelings are better
expressed than repressed. C. S. Lewis said that when his wife died he
railed against God for a while. Then, when he had spent himself in accusations
against the Almighty, He sensed the loving arms God go around Him in
a way that even he was unable to describe. God is not upset with us
when we tell Him exactly how we feel; He listens, feels for us, and
understands. As soon as possible, though, we must invite Him into our
pain and draw upon His comforting strength and support. Divine comfort
does not mean that our tears will dry up, or our grief come to a sudden
halt. These are natural processes that have a powerful therapeutic effect.
What it does mean is that we will feel God there in the midst of our
tears and grief. The pain must be entered into and worked through-even
the pain of saying "goodbye". Christ's ministry in bereavement is to
steer us gently along the path of pain and to walk with us hand in hand,
no matter how long the road may be. Never will Christ's presence be
more powerful and consoling than it is in bereavement. He gives most
when most is taken away.
Scriptures on which to reflect
- The only One who can hold the soul together.
Psalm 119: My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise
preserves my life. (v.50)
- Feelings must be faced and felt before
they can be consoled. Matthew 5: Blessed are those who
mourn, for they will be comforted. (v.4)
- A word that has consoled multitudes. Psalm
25: Even though I walk through the valley of the : shadow
of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your
staff, they comfort me. (v.4)
- Immerse yourself In the comfort that comes
from God. 2 Corinthians 1: Praise be to the God and Father
of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of
all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles (v.3-4)
- A promise that has never been broken.
Psalm 27: For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe
in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock. (v.5)
- For this purpose our Lord came. Isaiah
61: ...He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted… to
comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion-to
bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness
instead of mourning, and garment of praise instead of a spirit of
despair. (vv.1-2)
- Death does not have the final word. 1 Corinthians
15: Death has been swallowed up in victory! Where, 0 death,
is your victory? Where, 0 death, is your sting' (vv.54-55)
Be encouraged.
*******************Letter # 10 (10.3.2002)************************
